Posted: October 2, 2024   •   Posted in: Community, Discussions, Equality, Reflections

Thoughts after Pride 2024

Are we as progressive and loving now as our Quaker predecessors? I am not an expert on gender and sexuality issues – I just happen to be a member of this LGBTQIA+ community.

‘Towards a Quaker View of Sex’ (1963, revised 1964)

In 1963, the The Friends Home Service Committee published ‘Towards a Quaker View of Sex’, the first report by a religious body to put forward a positive understanding of homosexuality. It expresses a radical approach to sexual relationships and deplores the grief caused by the rule-bound moral code of Judeo-Christian tradition. It also rejects the organised Christian church’s  approach to morality, with its supposition that it knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. This publication defines sin as ‘…actions that involve the exploitation of the other person’, and chastity as… ‘the total absence of exploitation’. (‘Towards a Quaker View of Sex’, 1964, p46).

The greatest value of ‘Towards a Quaker View of Sex’ came from its radical redefining of Christian morality as a disciplined search rather than a draconian discipline. It declared that love is a manifestation of the Spirit behind all Creation, found in the character of homosexual and heterosexual alike.

Leap forward 20 years to me in London

I was at my first Gay Pride March. I felt very bold – part of something good and progressive. But at the same time, I was troubled by the men on the march in pantomime-style drag. I had to work hard at feeling much solidarity with them – to be honest I felt their clothes and behaviour were mocking women. Members of oppressed groups don’t always find it easy to accept each other, and I didn’t feel part of a community with many gay men. In fact I don’t think LGBTQIA+ describes a ‘community’ –  a better definition would be a ‘movement’.

‘LGBTQIA+’ spells?

Understanding the complicated acronym ‘LGBTQIA+’ may go some way to making it all seem less alien.  So – some definitions – ‘sex’ generally refers to someone’s biological sex: ‘gender’ usually refers to typical social roles (gender role) or personal identification (gender identity).

L – lesbian
G – gay
B – bisexual
T – transgender – anyone whose gender identity does not match the gender they were assigned at birth.
Q – queer or questioning. ‘Queer’ is all-encompassing – being queer isn’t about gender or sexual identity, it’s about both.
I – intersex – someone born with male and female chromosomes and/or sex characteristics. Intersex people are not trans, but they are often shamed – much like other members of the LGBTQIA+ community.
A – Asexual – people who don’t feel sexual attraction.
+ – includes anyone else who identifies as part of the movement.

Honouring/respecting our differences and embracing our oneness

Being an ally isn’t about knowing all the definitions. It’s about listening to the people in your life, standing up for them, allowing them to be fully themselves, without fear of judgment or danger.

Jesus seemed most comfortable among the poor and outcast, he didn’t hang out with the middle-classes, with the religiously-observant, ‘normal’ people.

Let’s try to be as progressive as that – or at least as those Quakers in the late 1950s.

Nicky (Beccles Quaker Meeting)