Posted: May 31, 2023   •   Posted in: Journey to Quakers

Sue’s journey

At a crossroads

Sometimes you can feel at a crossroads in life. Sometimes there are good, sometimes challenging reasons.

I was conscious of a crossroads in my life in autumn 2022. I had been living abroad for 16 years, at 65 years old I was facing old(er) age and I wanted to leave behind a relationship in which I had been very unhappy. I also wished to move closer to my family.

I had a ‘wish-list’ to help me make my choices in the direction of my new life. I have always had a strong desire, somewhat idealistic to be sure, for Community; to be among people who support each other, who have a positive attitude towards the problems of the world, an active sense of ‘What can be done’. As an individual sometimes one can have a feeling of helplessness. But in a group with common goals and comprised of individuals with many and different skills, and a desire to work for good together, there is a chance to make life better.

Choosing where to live and meeting Quakers

First of all I chose my town. Beccles was perfect for me, being a small town in beautiful Suffolk with excellent transport links, and not far from my family. It had a theatre, a library, the necessary shops, a University of the 3rd Age, an active Green movement, many Societies of interest to me, the Waveney, an open air swimming pool. And last, but far from least, it had a thriving and well established Quaker Meeting.

I had been aware of the Quakers for decades. I admired their pledge to peace and their refusal to take arms against other people, their political engagement in promotion of conflict resolution, their collective concern for the environment. Once my interest was stimulated I read about their part in the instigation of activism, helping to set up Amnesty International, Greenpeace, university courses in Peace Studies and much, much more.

I felt that now was the right time in my life and this was an ideal opportunity to take things a step further and get involved. So I took my courage in my hands and went to my first Quaker Meeting.

My first Quaker Meeting

The Meeting House in Beccles is a warm and inviting place in the heart of Beccles, and is set in a small, lovely, enclosed garden. Just outside the entrance door there are leaflets displayed to inform any newcomers what they might expect should they contemplate coming to a meeting.  Having read those leaflets, I decided to go the next step and attend for the first time. I went on a Friday, was kindly greeted at the door, and then found myself in a room with a ring of chairs, some of which were occupied by kind-faced people. I was invited to join the meeting, rather by gentle acceptance of my presence, than by effusive welcome. I liked this. I felt hesitant and wary of offending anyone. I already knew that worship time with the Quakers was generally a silent affair, with people expected to speak only when they were moved to do so. I was unsure how this would manifest itself.

During my first meeting I found myself inexplicably moved by the simple act of sitting in silence with people who were, at that time, complete strangers. There was no sense of expectancy, but there was a feeling of depth, a sort of communion, both internally and with the others in the room. Somebody did stand to talk briefly. She spoke directly from her heart, the subject she broached was not ‘heavy’, but I sensed that whatever any of us had chosen to say would have been listened to carefully by the group, and due consideration and care given. There was no sense of a hierarchy, and I have since learnt that this is the Quaker way, both at local and national level. After the half hour of silent worship ended people shook hands and took tea and biscuits together. They spoke to me and introduced themselves. Again, I felt a kindness, an acceptance, a welcome.  I felt that I was among people who were trying to be their best. Very basically, I felt at home.

And some six months later…

I have come to many meetings at the Friends Meeting House since that first time six months ago. Each time I come I look forward to sharing silent reflection with a group of people who never pretend to be better than anyone else, who strive to live simply and well, who are practical and energetic in trying to seek solutions to some of society’s problems. I find it helpful that there are no creeds, no ceremonies, that there is an inclusiveness. There is no sense of righteous certainty.

And when I attend a meeting I find that it refreshes me.